A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, “Doc, I’m just not feeling well.”
The doctor replies, “Maybe you’re not eating right.”
Eating right
When all other means of communication fail, try words.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
May I speak to the conductor – A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist.She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, “I just like to hear you say it.”
A blonde’s house was on fire. She was hysterical and called the Fire Department.
The man said, now calm down lady and tell us how to get to your house.
The blonde answered, “Duh, in that big red truck!”
When asked to sign a document a doctor pulled
a rectal thermometer out of his pocket, “damn!”"
Their were three blondes on an island, not to far away from the other side, but far enough not able to swim across.
One of the blondes goes up to a lamp on the sand and rubs the lamp. The genie comes out and says, “I will give you each one wish.”"
One of the blondes walks up and says
A man appears before the Pearly Gates
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?”"
sorry this really isnt ablonde joke but these are the only jokes people read and this is a hilarious joke.
One day this teacher was teaching about GOD. She asked Tommy to come and answer a few question in front of the class. Tommy said sure.
The teacher asked, “Can you see the chair?”"
Tommy replied
A blonde and a brunette went to a football game. When it was over, the blonde said to the brunette, “Why in the world did those two teams fight over a lousy quarter?”" The brunette
Three men were on top of the empire state building. The first man’s name was Clark the second man’s name was Joey and the thirds name was Jo Momma. Joey was drunk so Clark decided to play a little joke on him. Clark said,” Yo Joey if u jumped of this building tbe air would bring u rite back up!”" So Joey said